stuff is cool

Although I am very much looking forward to having kids one day, I am very much dreading having to watch movies with them. I am not sure which will be worse: watching things over and over again, when the kids are 2-7 or so, or having to see movies like the ones my kid cousins seem to like. Such as Space Chimps, Fred Claus, or Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. Which reminds me of my ultimate nightmare: 1997’s Jungle 2 Jungle, starring Tim Allen. My apologies if you are a fan of those films. As I have never seen them, I cannot really be a good judge. However, I will relish my freedom to avoid such films for as long as I can. Only when I am forced to out of love will I give silly movies a chance. Make hay while the sun shines, and watch as many rated R movies as you can before you get dumped in the world Daddy Day Care. They can’t all be can be The Fairly Oddparents. But I sure hope they get better by 2018 or so. (By my math, that gives me plenty of time before I start having kids. I want them, but I gotta grow up first, and I don’t wanna.)

Thanksgiving is suddenly almost upon us! I hate how autumn and winter fly by but spring and summer (mostly summer) drag on forever. I am not sure how I can still feel like the holidays fly by when the rest of the word starts the season a full month before I do. Merchants had their Christmas decorations and displays up the week of Halloween.

Now, I LOVE Christmas. I love everything about it. I love decorating, shopping for gifts, cooking, watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas carols, etc. But I will not start doing those things until the day after Thanksgiving! Or maybe Thanksgiving Day. Even though I have been running into holiday stuff left and right for weeks, I have fought it off enough that when I do officially greet The Season, it will be all the richer and sweeter. You start doing Christmas too early and it gets really watered down.

Some people go to the other extreme. In Olden Days, sometimes Santa brought the tree along with the gifts. Or the tree was set up only on Christmas eve. This makes sense due to the fire hazards they were, what with being decorated with dozens of open flames and all! In any case, some folks out there don’t celebrate The Season, they celebrate the day.

Obviously, I prefer the happy medium. 4 weeks of Christmas is just enough time to build up the excitement and celebration, savoring each tradition one by one. It may start with an impulse purchase of Christmas Oreos with red and green icing, then lighting holiday scented candles, then decorating, etc. etc. until Christmas is everywhere, exciting all of your senses.

I think the timing of holidays is perfect. We build excitement for a month, then have wonderful wonderful Christmas, with the week afterward acting as the denoument, and, just in time, New Years is a solid bookend (paired with Thanksgiving.)

In August of 2007, I opened a Money Market Account with Chase bank, my bank for over a decade. In fact, it has been my only bank since I was old enough to hold an account.

I sat down that mid-August day with a Chase banker whom I thought was a friend, “Abe,” a man I had trusted since I had been going to his branch for many years. He told me he wanted to set me up with a Chase Premier Checking Account, so that I could earn bonus points and “get free stuff.” He said it was free to upgrade and that there was no reason I shouldn’t, so I said, sure, go for it.

On my very next statement, I started seeing a “service fee” of $20 which recurred every month. Well, since it was called a “service fee,” I believed it was a fee for services to my MMA.

Finally, on June 14, 2008, almost a year later, I finally got fed up with such an expensive service fee. I was no longer using that particular account, and kept very little money in it. I no longer felt $20 a month was worth whatever service they where providing, so I called to see what it was about and if I could cancel my MMA and avoid further “service fees.”

It was only then that I was told that the Chase Premier Checking Account my dear Abe had set me up with requires a minimum monthly balance of $15,000. Yes, FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. In my entire life, I have never had anywhere close to that much money in my checking account, before or after the supposedly “free upgrade.”

The banker who set me up with this account was looking right at my account history when he did this. I had never had more than a few thousand dollars at any given time. He had no reason to believe I would ever suddenly have $15,000 every month. Nor did he even mention it. I certainly would have turned down this great “free upgrade!”

He also happily helped me set up an alert system so that I would receive an automated call if my account went below $2,000. Hmm, that’s $13,000 lower than the minimum should ever be! So what good would that alert do me? Nothing! Thanks, Abe! What a helper!

I immediately downgraded my account the day I found out about this “service fee” that was actually a “penalty fee” for having less than the required $15,000 minimum.

Then I went to my local branch to demand to know how Chase would have knowingly signed me up for an account minimum I would never be able to reach, and also conveniently failed to even tell me about it.

Their first response was “How come you never called us about that $20 fee before? It’s been on your statement every month for almost a year.” Thank you, Chase, for immediately blaming me. Let’s see, if it were labeled what it truly is, a “PENALTY FEE” I sure as heck would have called you on it the instant I saw it. But no, you call it a “service fee,” though what “service” you have been providing me by taking $20 from me every month, I certainly don’t know.

“Priscilla,” the assistant bank manager (“Keith”, the bank manager, was unavailable) told me that since my father was also on my account, and since he had his own separate account with Chase, perhaps ole Abe had “linked” our accounts “for fee purposes.” That still doesn’t add up. My father should have had to agree to this $15,000 minimum as well, and he doesn’t necessarily always have that much cash sitting around in his own checking account himself. They never asked him. Never once did this minimum get mentioned to any of the two account holders: me and my father.

They just set me up with a ridiculous account with an unattainable minimum, and then happily took $20 from me every month under the guise of providing me with a “service.”

That adds up to over $200. $200 that never should have been taken from me in the first place, if that banker back last August had done his job.

Now Chase is saying they may not be able to refund that money. They have only refunded the last 4 months, claiming that going any further back would be “very difficult” but not explaining why. They have also given no explanation as to 1) why that banker Abe did what he did and 2) why they do not see fit to refund my deceitfully taken money.

I would gladly get the hell out of Chase today if I could but I have to twiddle my thumbs while the “upper management” reviews my case to determine whether or not I deserve a refund. I see no plausible reason why I shouldn’t. Chase was in the wrong from the very start. Whether I caught it last August or next August, that doesn’t change the fact that they screwed up big time, and I had to pay for it.

If someone steals my car and I don’t notice it for a few days, does that mean the thief is less culpable for the theft?

Chase made a mistake that made them money and cost me money. I see no proper recourse other than a full refund.

Hallelujah, I have rediscovered the style and comfort of jeans that fit just below my waist, not just above my lady parts. Low-rise jeans have been so popular for so long that it’s the only style I have been able to buy for many years. The only other option, so I thought, were those horrendous ladies’ Wranglers that look straight out of the 80’s, and seem to come right up under your boobs.

But last Friday, as I was shopping at Old Navy for jeans for Danny, I discovered “classic rise” jeans for myself. Rejoice! The waist is comfortable, the fit is still slimming, and I think I look better than I ever did in low-rise.

The style is called “The Sweetheart” at Old Navy: classic rise, stretch, slight flare. PERFECT. I bought two pairs.

The search for the perfect pair of jeans is practically a lifelong quest for some women. Sure, I’ve had favorite pairs in the past, but what worked for me in college doesn’t necessarily work for me as a 27-year-old wife. The days of sizes 1 and 3 are over for me. I just put about five pairs of such teeny ass-crack-displaying jeans into the giveaway pile that is currently being stored in the guest bathtub (nobody ever uses that tub so it’s perfect storage space for now.)

My jeans drawer now holds a few “back-up” jeans for days when I never leave the house. But now I am all Sweetheart, All the Time.

I also love how it’s called “classic rise” as if it’s all retro and vintage.

I do. I like sushi and I like Sushi (my friend Sushi Suzuki, how I miss him!)

But this post is about the sushi most people know: the Japanese fishy food.

I like sushi. Actually, I like Maki (the rolls.) Not a huge fan of just fish-on-rice.

My favorite is the Spiral Roll at Blue Fish House: tuna, salmon, shrimp, cucumber, and avocado.

Danny and I go out for sushi at least one a month.

But I cannot remember the first time I tried sushi!! It must have been fairly recently, actually, in college. You would think I would remember it. I HATE most fish; how did I bring myself to eat “raw fish”!

Do you remember your first sushi experience?

Exactly 9 days ago, I was prescribed Zyrtec to relieve the itching of my mystery rash (probably psoriasis). The prescription cost me a whopping 71 dollars for 30 pills. Today I drag my pained, leprosy-looking body to explore the CVS across the street, as I do almost every day, desperate to find some sort of cream to relive my itching. Horrifically, there, in a glorious “FU” display: “PRESCRIPTION STRENGTH ZYRTEC, NOW OTC!” 30 pills cost fucking $18.99.

CAN I CATCH A DAMN BREAK? Like I have money to throw around with a wedding three weeks away. On top of that, on MONDAY I ordered some turmeric supplements because I have read numerous accounts of miraculous healing for psoriasis sufferes. I made sure to get *next day delivery* so I could get it in my system asap. It’s now FRIDAY. No delivery. Next day delivery MY ASS. I want to explode.

So, for the third day in a row, I have a good violent cry and scream at God. I hear about people who lose their ability to walk or get terminal cancer in every single organ, and people admire them saying: “She’s sooo brave, never once did she ask God why she was suffering.”

Well, I am no angel. I ask why. WHY. Why am I crippled one day, just achy the next (and achy is no picnic.) Why do I cry out in my sleep every time I toss and turn because it hurts my bones. Why am I tormented by anxiety and depression. Why am I COVERED in disgusting itchy welts of bright red terror, all the way from the bottom of my feet to my very scalp? I limp because the bottom of one foot is really painful.

My “most special day” is rapidly approaching and I am falling apart. And about to have a epic nervous breakdown.

Zyrtec, you are the last straw.

Well, lots has gone on since my last post, and some of you have begged for an update. Now that the holidays are over and the drudgery of work resumes, I know we all need distractions from work more than ever!

1) Remicade

My back pain is still a major problem. My spine appears to be fully inflamed, from my neck all the way down. Sleeping is still difficult, as is moving around in general. The good news is that I have had two full doses of the new drug remicade that is supposed to strop the progession of damage and increase my mobility while alleviating the pain. Doses are gived in IV drip that takes a few hours. Danny takes off work to be with me, which makes him even more a hero to me than he already was.

I am starting to see improvement, and hope to keep getting better so that by the time the wedding arrives, I will at least be able to boogie.

2) Christmas

Another wonderful Christmas, though it seems we have had to abandon most of my childhood traditions for new ones. It takes some getting used to.

3) SLUMBER PARTY!

I was feeling ambitious and invited my 3 cousins over for a slumber party a few nights ago. We baked red velvet cupcakes with homemade cream cheese filling (the way it baked itslef into the center was amazing). Then we pampered ourselves with mud masks, even Sammy. We played High School Musical Mystery Date, and Sammy was the winner with a date with none other than Troy himself. I must include some pics here, as it was so much fun:

The children practice being beauticians:

We look mahvelous.

Christopher gets attacked by ZOMBIES!

Mystery date was frustratingly difficult to assemble, but worth it.

I felt like Supermom as I got each child showered and ready for bed, and was able to convince them to split just one cupcake for their bedtime snack. They all climbed into my bed to fall asleep, and then I led their sleepwalking little bodies into the guest room. I think pretty soon they’ll be too grown up for all 3 to fit in the guest bed!

4) Happy 2008!

We rang in the New Year with the Frosts. Much alcohol was consumed. Mostly by Danny. YIKES!

5) Biggio Escapes

My cousin Sammy got a new puppy yesterday. he is a stray who appears to be a long-haired terrier of some type, but he’s so skinny from being on the streets that we can’t tell what he’ll really look like yet. His name is Biggio and he’s estimated to be a little over a year old, I think.

Well, little Biggio likes to bolt out the door any chance he gets, and he got that chance yesterday when little Christopher left the door open when he went out to the car for some baseball gloves. That dog TORE out of the house and down the street with my entire family in pursuit. Somehow I gained superhero abilities, because I was so worried for that puppy’s safety that I ran top-speed after him, pain shotting though my back every time my feet hit the pavement. My aunt Michelle and I cornered him, and the others arrived and fanned out in a tactical position. Biggio made a break for it and I did something I somewhat regret.

I tackled him to the ground. I literally laid out on some stranger’s driveway, shoving the poor puppy into a car tire and then basically landing on him. It hurt my back so bad I screamed, which scared the poor dog even more. I was still holding onto him and calculating whether or not I would ever be able to walk again when the rest of the family surrounded me, recovered the dog, and got me off the ground. I took pain meds when I got home and sat on a chair with my back against a bag of shoes, which happens to be very therapeutic, amazingly enough.

From now on New Years Day 2008 will be known as the day Noonie tackled Biggio. I could barely walk after that, and last night was pretty miserable, but I’ll be damned if I ever let anything bad happen to a puppy.

I also chuckle as I think about how we ran around the neighborhood screaming “Biggio, come back! Biggio, STOP!” Neighbors might have thought Craig Biggio himself was running for his life from lunatic fans.

6) Rash in the New Year

And now I am here in bed, back sore, a bit feverish, and covered in that same damn rash that got me a few weeks ago. I didn’t think the rash is associated with the chase after Biggio, because it started to appear before that. But when I had this rash before, we thought it was an allergic reaction to Percoet. I went off it, the rash went away, and so did the flu-like symptoms. But now the rash is back, and it can;t be blamed on Percocet. So I go to the doctor tomorrow to get to the bottom of it.

Which brings me back to #1: It may be a side effect of Remicade. Grrrreat.

Anyway, here’s to 2008, the year I become Mrs. Daniel DiPaolo!

I changed my mind about the Chanel serum I asked for. It’s just too expensive for what it is. I have done all our Christmas shopping and I see how it can add up so quickly. I still love Chanel stuff, though.

But I LOVE Christmas shopping. I keep our gifts in our coffee table, which is also a storage chest. I like to take everything out and look at it all now and then, and I can’t wait to give everything out. It’s sappy but true: I enjoy the month I spend coming up with creative gifts more than I enjoy the 24 hours I spend receiving gifts.

This year I am especially excited about some of the goofy-cute gifts I got for my dad and for Danny. They are adorable! (The men and the gifts they are getting!) After Christmas I’ll show you what I got them

Danny and I joke about inviting a slew of celebrities to our wedding on the slim chance that one will show up because they have a whimsical sense of humor. My current wish: Gary Oldman. In costume. As Sirius Black.

These are courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. Frost. The new Mr. and Mrs. Harold are unfortunately absent from this series, but Danny and I got some fabulous shots of them that we’ll post.

Shannon and Meg

Shannon, Meg, and Mary

The MRTs

The WhitPaolos

I’ll post ours from that niight as soon as Danny uploads them to our gallery. No pressure, Danny!