stuff is cool

Today was the long-awaited visit to the neurologist, to try to get to the bottom of some troubling symptoms that have popped up in the last 6 weeks on top of my back troubles. Also, in the last 2 weeks, I have developed constant neck pain, which leads me to suspect the arthritis has moved up.

Today I had to do some simple memory and motor tests. Danny was with me the whole time, rubbing my back and neck, holding my hand, and basically keeping me together even when I wanted to fall apart. I have to get another MRI and an EKG (or something) to rule out the possibility of seizures. I also filled about a dozen vials of blood today. I am really confused by all the possibilities and all the talk, and I wanted, as usual, to just be told “Oh this is a classic case of ___ easily solved by ___.” But that never happens.

I feel frustrated and dismayed, but when I get really, really upset, I think about what my dear friend Kelli went through with her Lymphoma, which she BEAT, and I gain a little strength.

(My face looks red because it was hot outside aaand I’d had some Greek wine.)

Danny is also my biggest cheerleader and my rock. He was by my side all morning, and practically held me up. I know you guys think the French nobleman costume is an amazing sign of his devotion, but the truly ugly times, when I am sobbing and scared and we don’t know what’s wrong with me, Danny is right there holding my hand, smoothing hair, and generally making sacrifices left and right, really showing how truly he loves me. And I don’t know how I can ever repay him, but I have a lifetime to try.