stuff is cool

I love the Intarwebs. It’s a Series of Tubes. I just sent an Internet the other day. Ok, enough Internet jokes. Here’s the thing. I love that my friends, some originating back as far as middle school, can be cyberstaking me from across the country for weeks and then come out of the blue and send me a message that says “hey man, I hear things are rough, and I am thinking of you” and, to be more specific, let me quote her: “thinking of you - in a good way - but not a lesbian good way - just a genuine good will good way.”

Thank you, Steph. Our Johnnycake caricatures hang near each other in the theater at SJS, and clearly, the Internets keep us near in our hearts as well. I miss you.

Props to Jen, too. I may speak a bleak streak sometimes, but I know in my heart I have a loving family, adoring fiance, and a coterie of devoted lifelong friends, and I am, deep down, happy.

Let me set the scene for my life, every week day, from morning till night. Sometimes I never stray further from the bed than to go to somewhere just a few steps away: the den or the bathroom or the kitchen.

I am propped up in bed. Two candles are lit: vanilla and autumn leaves. the TV is sometimes on, sometimes off. Books are stacked by my bed, at least 10 or 12 of them. The bedspread is blue and white like Italian Blue china. I sip Crystal Light green tea. Gigi is under the bed. I type away at my laptop. I make phone call after phone call: to doctors, to work, to clients.

It all sounds relaxing, but all the candles and blue and white bedspreads in the world cannot hold back the stress when it boils over.

Work and wedding planning and health press on my fragile body from every angle. I don’t eat, and when I do, it’s not much, or it doesn’t stay down, because my stomach is tied in knots almost all the time. Danny frowns if h is here to witness it.

My hair is always in a ponytail, because it has become long and ragamuffin, but I am too afraid to go anywhere alone these days, even to get a haircut.

My veins are showing. I am starting to look like my bedspread.

I have had such a stressful day with my job coordinating the magazine we do for a client at work. Many tears on my part. I am not very professional and I take everything personally.

So my mind wanders when I am trying to calm down. The Bourne Identity is on in the background.

My mind wanders to Harry Potter. What Death Eater could Clive Owen play?

On another note, absinthe has returned to the United States. A trip back in time. www.drinklucid.com

I need to stay as lucid as possible. Best stay away from the Green Fairy.

I must venture out to go to my mom’s to pick up some thank you notes she ordered for me. In ten minutes I’ll leave, I tell myself. Ten more minutes of safety, and then I have to go out there. Alone.

Ten more minutes.

These are all located at gallery.stuffiscool.com, but as few people know to go there, I often showcase photos here, too.

Here Danny and I act snotty and aristocratic, turning our noses up at such bourgeois entertainments as “hanging out at Michelle and Andrew’s”

Danny has noticed my courtly charms. This also showcases his lacy cravat, for all you cravat lovers out there.

My favorite pic of the entire night. That would be Tony Pule of Rice fame there offering me a nicely wrapped gift.

Seconds later, and completely unplanned, two more Dick-in-a-Box singers show up, so we can now visually demonstrate how to make your own.

Step One: Cute a hole in a box.
Step Two: Put your junk in that box.
Step Three: Make her open the box.

And that’s that way you doooooo it.

And there there were the awesome American Gladiators led by my friend Sasha:

He’s wearing a cup that’s kinda pointy.

They made these costumes themselves, starting with a plain untitard. VERY well done.

But let’s not forget Senator Craig (aka Albert), demonstrating the “misunderstanding” that made him headline news:

He tries again:

We end with a simple pic of two people, one who adores Halloween, and one who adores the one who adores Halloween:

Yay!

Here we have Carrie and Danny at Hana’s wedding:

Here Danny seems to have noticed Roxy and Electra are peeking out of Carrie’s dress.

Me and my Maid of Honor, lovin’ on each other


Just cute.

Now some more Halloween photos:

Me and Kelli at the HMNS party, though we only saw our “sponsor”, Jamie, once that night:

Several strangers asked me to be in pictures with them, but this is the only one I got on my camera as well. A fellow countryman, in a way, I suppose.

Party at Miche and Andrew’s. I am not sure what the inspiration for this pose was.



Mer and I have lost touch, which is sad, because she’s probably the friendliest, most easy-going person ever.

Okay I am gong to send this post and start a new one so this one doesn’t run on and on.

Danny and I joke about inviting a slew of celebrities to our wedding on the slim chance that one will show up because they have a whimsical sense of humor. My current wish: Gary Oldman. In costume. As Sirius Black.

Today was the long-awaited visit to the neurologist, to try to get to the bottom of some troubling symptoms that have popped up in the last 6 weeks on top of my back troubles. Also, in the last 2 weeks, I have developed constant neck pain, which leads me to suspect the arthritis has moved up.

Today I had to do some simple memory and motor tests. Danny was with me the whole time, rubbing my back and neck, holding my hand, and basically keeping me together even when I wanted to fall apart. I have to get another MRI and an EKG (or something) to rule out the possibility of seizures. I also filled about a dozen vials of blood today. I am really confused by all the possibilities and all the talk, and I wanted, as usual, to just be told “Oh this is a classic case of ___ easily solved by ___.” But that never happens.

I feel frustrated and dismayed, but when I get really, really upset, I think about what my dear friend Kelli went through with her Lymphoma, which she BEAT, and I gain a little strength.

(My face looks red because it was hot outside aaand I’d had some Greek wine.)

Danny is also my biggest cheerleader and my rock. He was by my side all morning, and practically held me up. I know you guys think the French nobleman costume is an amazing sign of his devotion, but the truly ugly times, when I am sobbing and scared and we don’t know what’s wrong with me, Danny is right there holding my hand, smoothing hair, and generally making sacrifices left and right, really showing how truly he loves me. And I don’t know how I can ever repay him, but I have a lifetime to try.