stuff is cool

So, I dabbed a little of the Paperback fragrance on today. It smells very manly, but it does have a bookish aroma. Hard to describe, but I keep sniffing my wrists so I must like it. A very wintry scent. Carrie, don’t buy it for yourself. That’s a gift coming from me!

This morning at around 5:30 I awoke with that horrible horrible back pain thats been threatening all week. I spilled an entire bottle of pills while rooting around on my bedside table. But I didn’t care because I was half asleep and in agony. I took my vicodin and soma and lay flat on my back. Gigi jumped up on the bed begging to go out (we think that’s what she wants, but who knows) and woke danny, so I told him I was suffering, and he held my hand and we both dozed off until the alarm went off for him to get up for his last day at his now offcially old job. He’s in Austin for the weekend and I kinda wish I had asked him to stay with me.

He offered but I didn’t want to keep him from his tournament. He offered again this afternoon when he got home from work, and again I said no. I was feeling ok at that point, but by 5:30 this evening I was in severe shot-in-the-back pain again and I called him in misery. I thought I would be ok on my own, but now I am not sure. I have to try. Just one night by myself and then I can go stay at my parents. I guess my meds aren’t working as well as they have in the past because I have to take them more and more often. This afternoon around 3 I was doin’ ok, in pain, but the dull achy pain. Sigh. Now I have to keep taking painkillers to even be able to breathe comfortably. I miss my Danny. Gigi will have to take care of me tonight. I am glad she’s learned to jump onto the bed on her own, because I can’t lift her and I want the company. She’s kinda skittish around me because I cry out in pain sometimes out of frustration.

Talk about frustration. I saw the orthopedic specialist a month ago and have had no news. I have called at least twice a week, leaving urgent messages, and no reply. As soon as I am officially on Danny’s new job’s health insurance plan (which should be soon) I am going to start aggresively seeking out answers again. Hit me with any test. I’ll see as many doctors as it takes. I can NOT have this happen in February!

Wow, 8 already. Maybe the night will fly by. I will probably go to sleep early if I can get comfortable enough. I have to bill another ten hours for work if I want to make my bonus, so hopefully a full day in bed tomorrow will be useful. I don’t think I’ll be billing any more hours tonight.

All my back pain posts sound the same. Sorry to be such a broken record, but my life feels like one.

My mom gets home from London tomorrow!