stuff is cool

Tonight, as I lay in bed after my second IV of steroids in 4 days, I got a bit randomly nostalgic and headed for my Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack. One of my all-time favorite movies that i have yet to find a soul-mate for. I admit, it’s a weird movie, explained here in these lyrics:

My sex change operation got botched; my guardian angel fell asleep on the watch; now all I got is a Barbie doll crotch; I’ve got an angry inch!

Yes. Hedwig, once a young gay man in East Berlin, got a sex change operation and got left with a useless nubbin. Now s’he searches for her soumlmate, not knowing that her “other half” is not who s’he thinks it is. It’s a beautiful tear-jerker story of self discovery that leaves me in happy tears. Hedwig believes we were once 3 great races: One made of two men, one of two women, and one of a man and a woman. Then the gods cut us in half right down the middle and sent a great storm to divide us from our other halves, and Hedwig truly believes his other half is still out there. It’s really a beautiful movie if you can handle the unbelievable weirdness of it. I first watched it in a class on the history of musicals. GREAT class.

Anyhow, I must share the lyrics that make me cry and the quotes that make me laugh: (If you read not this stuff read past to my message at the end.)

Quotes:

How did some slip of a girly boy from communist East Berlin become the internationally ignored song stylist barely standing before you?

Don’t you know me Kansas City? I’m the new Berlin Wall. Try and tear me down!

So if any of you out there are looking for the song that’s going to be your big hit, you should pay attention, because we are talking to Phil Collins’ people. But then again… aren’t we all?

Lyrics:

Midnight Radio

Here’s to Patti
And Tina
And Yoko
Aretha
And Nona
And Nico
And me
And all the strange rock and rollers
You know you’re doing all right
So hold on to each other
You gotta hold on tonight

And you’re shining
Like the brightest star
A transmission
On the midnight radio
And you’re spinning
Your new 45s
For the misfits and the losers
Yeah, you know you’re rock and rollers
Spinning to your rock and roll

Wig in a Box

I put on some make-up
Turn on the eight-track
I’m pulling the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I’m Miss Farrah Fawcett
From TV
Until I wake up
And I turn back to myself

Wicked Little Town

and there’s no mystical desire
no cosmic lover, preassigned
there’s nothing you can find that cannot be found
cause with all the changes you’ve been through
it seems the stranger’s always you
alone again in some new wicked little town
and when you’ve got no other choice
you know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise of this wicked little town
it’s a wicked little town
goodbye wicked little town

That last one got me through some very lonely nights as I cried alone in my empty bed. It’s my own voice I was following. I still follow my own voice. i don’t believe in cosmic lovers, as Hedwig did, and as s’he learned, your cosmic other half is in your own self. You can’t find all the answers, all your happiness, from someone else. I once thought I could.

I found great joy with Danny but I cannot hang my entire happiness on him. I have to make my little joys on my own, too. Hedwig taught me that. Too bad I hate the name or I’d use it on a kid.

Anyhow, if you are looking for a random movie to watch one night soon, try it. You may like it. You may hate it. But I loved it.