stuff is cool

I said goodbye to my Grandmom last night. She died surrounded by her family.

My grandmother Lucy Whitmore has been ill with cancer for many months and has been in hospice care, safe in her own bed at home. My Aunt Elsa has been caring for her for years, and my brother and I would “grandnothersit” every Sunday afternoon. We would watch British tv mysteries and read to her from her mystery magazine. She loved to drink Coke. She called it “something cool to drink.”

On this past Sunday she took a turn for the worst. My mother, Elsa, and I spent all afternoon by her bed, talking about my wedding plans to marry Danny at the Rice Chapel and celebrate at Cohen House, and looking at Elsa’s wedding album from her own wedding at Cohen House. I even tried on Elsa’s wedding dress (too small.) I don’t know if Grandmom even knew we were there, but it was a wonderful afternoon.

Monday morning the hospice nurse told us she had less than 48 hours. My dad, Elsa, my mom, and my brother Ben all gathered at the house after work. We sat in her room and talked while stroking her hair and holding her hands and telling her about things we remembered.

At about 7:45 I noticed her fingers had begun to turn blue. My aunt climbed in bed next to her and held her in her arms and I held Grandmom’s hand. We all gathered close, even the dog, and we told Grandmom all the things we wanted her to tell Grandad when she saw him in Heaven. We named every pet she ever had, every boyfriend she ever had (that we knew of), the favorite meals she would cook . . . and then at some point between 8:08 and 8:15 she left us. We waited for the next breath, holding our own, and hers finally never came.

It was very very gentle and peaceful.

I am still struggling with witnessing death, even a beautiful one. I go from being fine to uncontrollable sobbing.

When a friend from St Louis once asked somone who my Grandad Bill had married, he responded, “She’s small, smart, and pretty.”

That is perfect. I cannot find any other words right now, writer though I am. I need some time. But the words will come, I know.

The visitation will be from 5:00 until 7:00 on Thursday night at the George Lewis Funeral Home. There will be a short graveside service at 9:30 a.m. on Friday at Washington Cemetery, followed by the memorial service at 11:30 at the chapel at Brookwood, out in Brookshire. Then lunch at the Brookwood Community’s cafe at 12:30.

My dad said it is time to celebrate her life, and we are.

PS- Any potential criminals out there should know we will have friends housesitting at each of our homes while we are at the services, so don’t think about trying to rob us thinking nobody is home. We’re onto your little sneaky moves.