stuff is cool

I don’t remember whether or not we posted about Chad Kultgen and his hilarious amazon.com reviews, but a large portion of you readers no doubt heard about it and thought it was pretty funny even if it did get old a bit quickly.

Well, in that same vein, this reviewer writes some pretty hilarious reviews as well, though not as gimmicky as Chad’s. Instead of playing the 80’s-obsessed uber-male, this person just plays someone completely ignorant yet exceedingly eloquent. Here are a few choice selections.

For a diet book:

Something I’d like to ‘chair with you

First of all, I tried the exercise “The Invisible Chair” and all I can say about it is that I no longer use ‘visible chairs’. I simply love this exercise; at the home, out in the yard, at the cafe, doesn’t matter where. While approaching my bus stop I look at the other bus patrons with a smirk. I peregrinate up to the bench as though I’m about to sit on it like any other rube — and then right next to the bench — I neatly fold myself and do the invisible chair exercise. Reading my magazine, self-satisfied, I look askance at my peers.

For some cinnamon-flavored toothpicks:

Cinnamonotonous Tootpicks

This product advertises itself as “low-in-fat, high-in-taste.” This is marvellous because I am on a diet. A good majority of us lack the digestive enzymes necessary to process wood. Although, my colleague Gareth Mitchell Headgraves is a rarity. I admit I become anxious when I leave himself alone in a room with a good piece of teak. In any case, despite a few misguided efforts, I cannot digest wood and will reaffirm that for most of us this product is low in fat.

And lastly, for the Special Edition DVD of “Wilde”:

They should have gotten Gene Wilder to play Oscar Wilde. It would have made this movie a lot Wilder.

There are a lot more, and (except for the last review) I only posted portions of each, so go check them out.