stuff is cool

Danny’s niece (and our Goddaughter) Elise Grace was born on Saturday night.

Elise and Uncle Danny.

Elise and big sister Joelle, beaming cutely.

I held her last night and it was heaven. I love her so much already. I get to be here for the begining with this kiddo! Joelle won’t remember a time without me, sure, but this time I get to see the fun baby stages of my (hopefully) future niece.

Spent a while last night updating our gallery with all the stuff of our camera. So, go check out our New Year’s party photos as well as the photos from this past weekend in Austin where Meg and I attended her “cousin” Julie’s wedding. And in case you missed it, go read Meg’s post with details about the weekend.

Also I got a new portable MP3 player since my old one was losing its ability to retain the battery’s charge, and there’s also a new gallery with a few photos of it as well.

I don’t remember whether or not we posted about Chad Kultgen and his hilarious amazon.com reviews, but a large portion of you readers no doubt heard about it and thought it was pretty funny even if it did get old a bit quickly.

Well, in that same vein, this reviewer writes some pretty hilarious reviews as well, though not as gimmicky as Chad’s. Instead of playing the 80’s-obsessed uber-male, this person just plays someone completely ignorant yet exceedingly eloquent. Here are a few choice selections.

For a diet book:

Something I’d like to ‘chair with you

First of all, I tried the exercise “The Invisible Chair” and all I can say about it is that I no longer use ‘visible chairs’. I simply love this exercise; at the home, out in the yard, at the cafe, doesn’t matter where. While approaching my bus stop I look at the other bus patrons with a smirk. I peregrinate up to the bench as though I’m about to sit on it like any other rube — and then right next to the bench — I neatly fold myself and do the invisible chair exercise. Reading my magazine, self-satisfied, I look askance at my peers.

For some cinnamon-flavored toothpicks:

Cinnamonotonous Tootpicks

This product advertises itself as “low-in-fat, high-in-taste.” This is marvellous because I am on a diet. A good majority of us lack the digestive enzymes necessary to process wood. Although, my colleague Gareth Mitchell Headgraves is a rarity. I admit I become anxious when I leave himself alone in a room with a good piece of teak. In any case, despite a few misguided efforts, I cannot digest wood and will reaffirm that for most of us this product is low in fat.

And lastly, for the Special Edition DVD of “Wilde”:

They should have gotten Gene Wilder to play Oscar Wilde. It would have made this movie a lot Wilder.

There are a lot more, and (except for the last review) I only posted portions of each, so go check them out.

The weekend started out normal enough. We all took Friday off and drove up to Austin for my cousin Julie’s wedding. Well, she’s my mom’s cousin’s daughter. We just say cousin in a family like ours. I was in the house party but that was just in name only; I didn’t have any duties.

Friday night was the rehearsal dinner, which was your usual big rehearsal dinner. I didn’t get really drunk till later that night, when we met up with the bride and groom and a bunch of people at some hotel near 6th street. Maybe Bombay Sapphire gets you drunker or something, but I got sick-drunk, not silly drunk, at least. Danny was up late taking care of me, so none of us were in any shape to go to brunch the next day. We slept till 1.

We went down to the hotel restaurant for lunch around 2. We were sitting at the kids’ table, me, Danny, Ben, and my 3 little cousins, when I noticed Ben was staring blankly and scratching his ear. He was sweating. “Ben?” I asked. He wouldn’t respond. He went rigid. Danny tried to nudge him. “Something’s wrong with Ben!” I shouted in a panic, and then everything happened very fast. My cousin Trevor ran down the street to a fire department while my aunt called 911. I ran through the lobby to call my dad in his room, with my 3 kid cousins trailing behind. I was shaking so hard I couldn’t get the phone to connect, so Danny called him while I raced back to the restaurant. Paramedics arrived and I filled them in on my brother’s condition (diabtetes) and told him that he had his insulin just before we came down. My mom and dad and I were all by his side as they gave him an IV of sugar and saline. He slowly came back to life. It was terrifying waiting for him to wake up. his blood sugar was at 40. That’s LOW.

He could have died. We realized later that he had gone into shock long before I noticed, because people had been stealing his fries and he had not said anything, which is unlike him. It was when I noticed him sweating that I knew something was wrong. I wonder how much longer it would have gone before we noticed. We just thought he was being quiet. He never checks his blood sugar and he got a speech from the paramedic, Diana. If this had happened when he was alone, he could have died. I am very concerned that this will happen again. You know how I worry. But he didn’t go to the hospital.

For the rest of the afternoon we watched Air Force One in our hotel room and then went to the wedding. Ben wasn’t allowed to drink and I was still sick from the night before, so I didn’t drink either, so the reception it had a surreal “waiting for it to really start” twinge to it.

The bride didn’t toss the bouquet. Instead she just presented me with it. I think Danny got the message.

Back from a VERY eventful weekend in Austin. I am too tired to go into the story now, but there was an ambulance involved. In any case, on a lighter note, we sat at a table at the rehearsal dinner with this guy.

He just is.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,

“What does love mean?”

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her
toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That’s love.”
Rebecca- age 8

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
Billy - age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
Karl - age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”
Chrissy - age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”
Terri - age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”
Danny - age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss”
Emily - age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,”
Nikka - age 6

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”
Noelle - age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”
Tommy - age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”
Cindy - age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”
Clare - age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”
Elaine-age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.”
Chris - age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”
Mary Ann - age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”
Lauren - age 4

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” (what an image)
Karen - age 7

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”
Jessica - age 8

And the final one — Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a
contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly
gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

“Nothing, I just helped him cry”

Sometimes I need help crying, too.

I know I haven’t been posting every week like I said, but I have been keeping my NFL power rankings each week, so fear not:

Rk(Prv)	Team			W-L	Score	Wk 17		Chg	Sc Chg
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1(1)	San Diego Chargers	14-2	 271.92	W v ARI		--	+32.06
2(3)	Baltimore Ravens	13-3	 248.05	W v BUF		+1	+38.98
3(2)	Chicago Bears		13-3	 205.82	L v GB		-1	 -5.70
4(5)	New England Patriots	12-4	 197.51	W @ TEN		+1	+41.99
5(4)	Indianapolis Colts	12-4	 192.37	W v MIA		-1	+26.23
6(7)	Philadelphia Eagles	10-6	 106.18	W v ATL		+1	+26.77
7(6)	New Orleans Saints	10-6	  92.85	L v CAR		-1	-10.34
8(8)	Dallas Cowboys		 9-7	  51.86	L v DET		--	-26.01
9(12)	New York Jets		10-6	  51.50	W v OAK		+3	+15.70
10(10)	Jacksonville Jaguars	 8-8	  47.62	L @ KC		--	 -1.64
11(13)	Kansas City Chiefs	 9-7	  42.32	W v JAC		+2	+13.87
12(9)	Denver Broncos		 9-7	  35.59	L v SF		-3	-18.07
13(15)	St Louis Rams		 8-8	  28.97	W @ MIN		+2	+26.21
14(11)	Cincinnati Bengals	 8-8	  27.07	L v PIT		-3	-17.54
15(16)	Pittsburgh Steelers	 8-8	   5.16	W @ CIN		+1	+18.07
16(17)	New York Giants		 8-8	  -3.42	W @ WAS		+1	+13.58
17(23)	Green Bay Packers	 8-8	  -6.51	W @ CHI		+6	+34.93
18(19)	Seattle Seahawks	 9-7	  -6.57	W @ TB		+1	+19.37
19(14)	Tennessee Titans	 8-8	 -15.64	L v NE		-5	-29.14
20(24)	Carolina Panthers	 8-8	 -20.99	W @ NO		+4	+22.24
21(18)	Atlanta Falcons		 7-9	 -37.77	L @ PHI		-3	-19.51
22(21)	Miami Dolphins		 6-10	 -50.92	L @ IND		-1	-15.27
23(20)	Buffalo Bills		 7-9	 -53.09	L @ BAL		-3	-22.15
24(22)	Minnesota Vikings	 6-10	 -64.83	L v STL		-2	-24.87
25(25)	San Francisco 49ers	 7-9	 -79.29	W @ DEN		--	+14.72
26(28)	Houston Texans		 6-10	-110.99	W v CLE		+2	 +2.76
27(26)	Arizona Cardinals	 5-11	-121.56	L @ SD		-1	-18.40
28(27)	Washington Redskins	 5-11	-137.39	L v NYG		-1	-34.18
29(29)	Tampa Bay Buccaneers	 4-12	-199.48	L v SEA		--	-35.04
30(30)	Cleveland Browns	 4-12	-210.44	L @ HOU		--	-43.68
31(31)	Detroit Lions		 3-13	-218.60	W @ DAL		--	 +9.18
32(32)	Oakland Raiders		 2-14	-284.45	L @ NYJ		--	-41.95

The top 9 teams all make the playoffs, and 11, 16, and 18 join them. Perhaps not surprisingly, 16 and 18 are from the NFC. First round playoff predictions according to the rankings have Dallas knocking off Seattle, Indy over KC, Philly over the Giants, and New England over the Jets.

Now, if you are a college football fan (or just a football fan in general) and you didn’t stay up to watch what looked like Boise State’s drubbing of Oklahoma, you missed at least the best game of the Bowl season so far if not the best college bowl game in quite some time, probably topping Texas/USC last year, though obviously not as meaningful; though it might not be quite as good as the Miami/Ohio State game from 2003, but it’s probably more fun to watch.

For you sports fans who haven’t heard about it yet, it goes something like this. Boise State is up 28-10 well into the third quarter, with no real sign of stopping though Oklahoma did start to slow them down a bit. Oklahoma scores 18 unanswered points to tie the game with 1:26 left in the game. Already the game was shaping up to be a very interesting one, with Oklahoma’s offense finally putting things together. Boise State gets the ball back and on the very first play Oklahoma intercepts the ball and runs it back 34 yards for a touchdown to take the lead 35-28 with just over a minute left (1:02). Oklahoma had held Boise State scoreless for the previous 22 minutes of the game, so they had to be pretty confident that they could hold for one more minute.

Boise State started from their own 20, and immediately struck with a 36 yard pass deep to the left side, getting them into Oklahoma territory. Then, Oklahoma’s defense stepped it up, sacking Zabransky for an 8 yard loss, followed by two incomplete passes. It was 4th and 18 from about midfield, and less than 20 seconds on the clock. Even if they converted, they’d only have time for one or two more plays after that at best. Oklahoma was playing “soft” to prevent Boise State from getting the first down. They’d gladly give up a 12-15 yard play as long as it meant that Boise State wouldn’t break it for a long play. Zabransky took the snap and sent a pass 15 yards down the left sideline to Drisan James, a couple yards shy of the first down. Several OU defenders immediately close on James, ready to take him down and win the ball game. Knowing that this meant the game, James cut back looking like he was going to try to beat all of those defenders, and as he cut towards the middle of the field he turned and lateraled it to another receiver, Jerard Rabb, in full stride who at least had the speed and position to get the first down and get out of bounds further down field. But, instead he had a running lane and took it to the house. Tie game, 35-35. We head to overtime.

Boise State as the visiting team got to call the coin toss. They win the toss and, as most teams do, elected to go second. Oklahoma’s drive ends almost as soon as it begins. Adrian Peterson immediately runs the ball in 25 yards for the touchdown on the first play of OT, and Oklahoma converts the extra point to take the lead 42-35 in the first OT. Boise State begins their drive by getting stuffed, and then getting a small gain to set up 3rd and long. Zabransky got the first down on a 9 yard dump pass across the middle, saving the game for now. With first and ten now, Boise State ran it twice and got it to 3rd-and-1 (to get the 1st down they had to get to about the 3 yard line). Their RB Ian Johnson tried to pound the ball up the middle but got stuffed for a 1 yard loss, setting up 4th and 2 from the 5. Boise State WR Vinny Peretta lined up alongside the QB Zabransky in the backfield and then Zabransky went in motion wide left (and arguably should have been called for illegal forward motion as the ball was snapped, but that’s somewhat irrelevant). Peretta received the direct snap and Oklahoma collapsed in on him but Peretta lofted the ball over the top perfectly to WR Derek Schouman for the touchdown. Instead of kicking the extra point to tie, Boise State decides to go for two to win it. Zabransky took the snap, transferred the ball into his left hand, faked a screen pass to the right with his right hand while holding the ball back behind his back for Ian Johnson to run it in to the left side for the 2pt conversion and the game.

And to top it all off, Johnson not only scored the winning 2pt conversion for Boise State, he then proposed to his girlfriend, the captain of the cheerleading squad, on national television.

Unfortunately, I haven’t found a good video of the highlights of the end of regulation, but here’s a Google Video link with the OT highlights: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=163885453571558914