stuff is cool

Yes, that is a three-layer meatcake with mashed potato frosting and a ketchup glaze.

Full recipe here.

Danny and I didn’t actually make this. But we are going to be cooking for ourselves now, and today was our first big trip to the grocery store together. We are going to cook actual meals, as opposed to the hamburger helper we usually do. Recipes to be tested: Sweet and Sour Chicken, Picadillo, and some sort of interesting Sloppy Joe Casserole. We’ll move up from there.

I have very simple tastes. And I am lazy.

So, back on June 24th, I played in the Texas Beach Ultimate Festival (TBUF) down in Galveston on the glamorous “Six on the Beach” team. Well, during the second or third game at some point I came down awkwardly on my left shoulder and sort of rolled back on it and it seemed to come out of place briefly. “Uh oh.” But, I’d jammed that shoulder up before and it didn’t stay out of the socket, so I didn’t figure it’d be anything major. However, since it was fairly intense pain, I subbed out (we had one guy sub) and iced it up. Later on in that same game, one of the guys (Eric) busted up his toe to the point where he couldn’t play for the time being. Since my pain was mostly gone and it was only my left shoulder I figured I could play for a few points using only my right arm. That went fairly well and I even dove to catch a few things successfully (albeit foolishly). In fact, it went well enough for me to play regularly in another two or three games.

Then, while playing a consolation game after getting knocked out of the playoffs, I landed awkwardly on my right shoulder … very much in the same way I did with my left. It didn’t hurt as bad, but obviously it put me out of commission for the day. I took some ibuprofen, continued icing both shoulders as much as possible, watched a few more games and then headed back to Houston. And man oh man does driving suck when your shoulders are both injured.

A week later, my shoulders are still hurting, so I call to make an appointment with the doctor. Seeing as how that was the July 4th weekend that weekend the earliest I could get in was July 6th. I went and saw him, and he recommended that I go get some X-rays done. Got those done the following week and then the next week my doctor referred me to a bone and joint specialist, whom I just spent a few hours with this morning.

The good news: my injuries aren’t so bad that surgery is an obvious requirement.
The bad news: I may end up needing surgery if physical therapy doesn’t fix it and physical therapy is freaking expensive.

The “recommended” approach currently is: try physical therapy for 3-4 weeks a few times a week, then see how it is; if it’s not any better or if it’s worse, maybe get an MRI and see if surgery is called for. The problem with that is the place that they referred me to for physical therapy costs $200-250 per session and my deductible is $2000. So, I’d be paying $2000 for something that may result in me having to pay for surgery anyway. I’m not against the approach itself, but I just don’t know if I want to pay $2000 for something that may not help. One of my ultimate teammates said he knows a “good shoulder guy”, so I might have to go and get a second opinion before I start throwing down benjamins. As much as I don’t want to have to have surgery, that’s one thing I know will fix the problem as well as it can be fixed, and at this point I’m almost leaning that way just because of that.

I also posted this on my Xanga, so Xanga readers need not read on, but some of my friends read only this, and I sometimes I want to muse on an outlet that is more respectable than Xanga. Xanga is like my rough draft of my stuffiscool posts.

I kind of fell apart this morning. I woke up in a considerable amount of pain from my arthritis, and sometimes it makes me fall to pieces. I get overemotional when I am hurting, and then when Danny left to go to work I just lost it because I feel so damn helpless on my Bad Arthririts Days. I get frustrated, angry, depressed, and sobby. I start missing my mom and dad and start getting scared that someday soon I’ll stop being able to take care of myself. I can’t even walk across the street to get my meds. I had to call in sick to work. I would take a hot bath, but I can’t climb into the tub without help. So I kind of had a meltdown and called my mom and my dad and begged my dad to come comfort me (my mom works an hour away and is too busy). I hate it when I get like this, a blubbering mess who feels like a burden on those I love.

I am waiting for my dad to come now, and also for my rheumatologist to call to help advise me on what to do now that I am going to be alone most of the day and pretty immobile. I am hoping he can prescribe something a little less toxic than Vicodin, which, though effective, tends to make me throw up when I am feeling partcualrly bad.

But see, I DID take charge (after crying to my parents) and I called the doctor and looked up the pharmacy number and even talked to my psych. I am taking care of myself as best I can from the safety of my bed. I am not totally helpless, or hopeless.

I tend to get pretty panicky and negative when I am hurrting. I am not sure what kind of mommy I can be on days like this in the (distant) future, and that (totally premature) worrying may be part of why my stomach gets so bad when my JRA flares up. It’s a vicious circle. Fortunately it’s only my larager joints that hurt right now (my shoulder and my ankles and knees) so I am still able to type and work even though I called in sick today.

My dad is on his way here to come help take care of me and get my meds, and also to just comfort me becauase, well, I adore my dad and he comforts me and encourages me to take care of myself.. He helps restore that driving force I sometimes lose when I get really sick and I need a boost. I love my mom and dad, and they have been dealing wih my disability (yes, I consider it a disability and I am not ashamed) since I was 3 years old. I may fall apart sometimes when the helplessness sets in, but they, and especially my dad, remind me that I am NOT helpless.

I just want my Daddy to come give m a hug right now. That will help make me feel better, almost as much as Vicodin does.

When Danny and I watched Closer about a year ago, I thought it was thought-provoking. When we watched Garden State, I thought it was beautiful (coincidence that Natalie Portman is in both.) Now, I watched Garden State again last week and it made me SO depressed. What a sad, sad movie! Right now I am watching Closer and it’s disturbing. Not thought-provoking. These people are reprehensible. Maybe because I have seen it already I can watch them more closely, but, damn.

Movies are depressing me lately. Even Love Actually.

What Would Jesus Drink? Apparently Budweiser:

Apparently this billboard (near downtown Houston, at La Branch and Winbern) was vandalized to it’s current state. I can’t imagine what would possess someone to do this, but I’m glad they did.

The new apartment does rock, like Mary said. She and Matt Turner were our first non-family visitors. Anyhow, it’s really really awesome. Danny and I are lucky bastards. The move was a bit of a trial but all told it went pretty smoothly. I handled my movers all by myself like a big girl, and Danny is almost done getting all his stuff out of his old apartment. Our first two nights have been blissful. Today I put in our 7-item work order. We’re not complainers, we’re just very very thorough. Ok, I am a complainer. The knocking coming from the AC better go away soon because it creeps me out!

Danny has done a fantastic job getting things organized and building our TV stand. I built my bedside table and will build his when we get it. I am looking forward to it.

I wanna see the new Pirates of the Caribbean but my favorite actor ever, Bill Nighy, looks like a gaddamn giant squid. We won’t get to see his awesome squinty facial expressions! Crud.

Danny’s birthday gift from his mom:

My new bedside table:

Our new rug for the living room:

Just to update you. I am very excited about such things.

Is a great movie. Watch it sometime.